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Hush Now My Fears

by Joel Baker

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1.
Paperchains 03:03
Is it even true Where is all it leading to My short sight is good at stealing views And leaving truths appear as lies Like eaten fruits I’m so numb I can’t believe the news Stirring thoughts reheated soups Counting breathes in 3s and 2s Is it even true? Why do I limp before I’ve lost a leg Fear grips the hostage head Death My fostered friend What’s the end? My worn answers get washed Like the socks I’ve lost again Slow down How I wish there was time The days falling high like a water slide As I form my sight to hoard the light I often forget to call goodbye I try and Store the sights And before I know the roses It’s autumn time But I saw you cry. I caught a glance. Do I really need answers or an open hand. Do I need a zeus or a broken man. My mind steers like a loaded van Taking garden shears to holy lands Inside my trojan plans Do I know who I am? Reflections strengthen as darkness grows Too often in my party clothes it hardly shows But as my imaginary friends start to go I park the boat long enough to become The only one my Father knows Please calm the ghosts I think see you inside the glass I close my eyes like it’s the last A spear head in my side as I fight the past Sinking sodden in clovered fields Dying under horses and roman shields I can see this moment for how I will Statue still And as the days fold out like paper chains I wait I wait I wait in vain To see your gorgeous face again
2.
Hush! now my fears It’s gon be fine Take one more breath in Close down your eyes It’s not the end If it’s not alright Don’t get it twisted Like that thorn in your side I’ve been scaling the mountains With a desperate heart In all of my searching I found the finish line was right at the start Now I’m on my way home I’m on my way down I’ll be there besides you Someday oh somehow Now I’m on my way home Now Im already gone There’s a table prepared for me Where I belong Hush! Now my doubts You had your use Now you’ve got my neck stuck Inside your noose Hush! Now my guilt I paid you the cost I’m so much better than you Told me I was There’s a story inside me Reshaping the land I’ve come out of hiding Now I know I’m loved just the way that I am
3.
The Light it always finds a way Heights warn me of my climbs a stray Still I climb still I yearn still I strive away No brakes yet I pedal this race All my hero’s are dead or disgraced Potential in my mind Foreign coins in a drawer I know they’re worth something But unsure of what for I’m hard to cancel like a free trial But My hang ups about my self And my art Aren’t afraid to redial Meanwhile …I’ve been Breaking eggs for some Sunny thoughts When will I learn stillness harbours all I hurry for Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s When the money talks But my greed is so uninformed Lift the lid on my love and there is hate beneath All my dreams fell apart but they were baby teeth Yeah There’s bigger to come If I listen to some Give me the wisdom to stay Or the wisdom to run I’ve been Fast asleep My mum spent her whole life planting trees The shade of their leaves she never sat beneath That’s the meaning of life I’ve been left shipwrecked now I’m seeing it right What’s climbing ladders, When you know that kindness matters My friends are my wealth Now I know that My friends are my wealth Been trying to be a better friend to my friends and myself
4.
5.
I don’t ever wanna let go I don’t ever wanna ever say bye I know that whenever we spoke You’d say it’s alright I don’t ever wanna let go I don’t ever wanna ever say bye I know that we’re never not close but tell me One more time Listen mum Miss you like I’d miss a lung Miss you everyday still, you know that I miss you tons I write to you in my dreams and my thoughts alike I’ve been writing words to heal yeah you taught me right Well You’re my flour you’re my yeast yeah I knead you I’ve been trying to disguise but I’m see through I’ve been tryna freeze the tears but they snow ball I’d do anything today for a phone call I really wanna float above From all this stuff I wish that you could hold me up Even though most the magnets on the fridge have changed You’ll always be the ONLY face that fits the frame It’s Been kinda tricky without you I still see Nan it’s hard to visit without you Our special day won’t be the same without you I just want you to knooOooOw Chorus Listen son Miss you like I’d miss a lung Miss you everyday still you know that miss you tons I write to you every morning from the forest stars Im still your mother if we’re close or we’re far apart I really love who you chose to love You opened up I know it hurts sometimes it’s supposed to love When the flowers died You rose above I love you loud I love you you done me proud I can’t wait to meet her wait to see her I just know we’d be the bestest friends She’s lovely and She’s stunning & she’s caring too Seeing you happy There’s no joy I could compare it too And There’s no weapon that I Won’t destroy To Hold to you tight I know your voice You’ll always be my Oldest boy My Mostest joy Don’t forget to take a bunch the polaroids
6.
Magic 8 Ball 03:20
Christmas Eve blistered feet Weight on my hard shoulders Walking on the side of a foreign motorway Greeted with signs saying closed again Thinking If he knows my pain Where’d He go? It takes time to repair the toes of feet Walked in faith too small for too long Low battery mode Torch light glows On Road kill As I lemon squeeze the blurry dreams I’m owed still And in my negotiations with life I always add on extra for virtues like oat milk I’m alone still Rattling at the grief and a locked gate Thunder crashes like a dropped plate Hands become ghosts infront of my blotched face it must have got late So I stop straight and realise I can’t go the back the way that I came My oat cracker crumbs disappeared in the wind And Everything I know is gone And My childish sobs become holy songs Caught inside a choir of tears As the electric storm’s Fire appears Falling on high from light years away I hideaway but still he sees me Still he sees me and greets me into great halls with marble floors As I’m Wading in mirrors of rainfall And shaking God like a magic 8 ball Only to find he was never in there at all Heaven resides in the last place I’d look The last place I’d deem worthy The last place I’d ever love The temple is torn the captive is free I find refuge in he who finds home in me Something in the starry black Arrests me like cardiac The flood ruined the wallpaper But underneath were artefacts All along Guess I must’ve Fallen wrong I’m everything I love and fear All in one what should I focus on Everything I know is gone Drowning in the Icelandic I’m your clone except I’m right handed I still remember when dad told me The metaphor in the sky landed I never got to say goodbye A byproduct of by standing I just hope you find family I just hope your flight landed
7.
Ruins 04:32
Fighting some foreign war Frozen water on all fours Longing for a notion of home that is Fading like carpet in the sun What have I won if I’ve lost my sense of me….. My sense of meant to be An old friend to me Who now seems immature when we meet now Beat down and swollen The* tremors can still be felt I’m on fire but I keep down and roll it out I am a city over run , over taken Broken windows A field full of land mines Im as old as land lines But my wounds As so youthful When I am pushed the floor It is the child inside of me who falls I am tired of feeling… I’ve wandered in the dark So many nights Than even in the light Sometimes I close my eyes A force of habit All I carried Is falling out the shopping bags But I know it’s In my shrinking I grow Has it been a while? All these weaponised reflexes fastened to my side Me & God are boats passing in the night But I have come to tell you There is joy in the morning Peace in despair Courage in the falling Calm in the cares So don’t be scared of the ruins Keep it moving If falling apart Leads me into your arms Then that’s all that I want
8.
Caleb 03:20
Can’t you see the clouds are crying Can’t you hear the thunder roll I can feel my fear is firing I could use some gun control All of me is broken down I can’t really mask the scars begging at my saviours feet with open alabastar jars Blinded by the dark I need you to line the floors You were a distant torch now you’re the light inside it all Oh there’s a depth to this I can feel it underfoot But the only words that I can manage, all that I can muster up is Oh my love Can’t you see the crowds are here Can’t you feel it closing in There’s no louder sound than when they throw the roses in I’ve tried to shake it off I’ve tried a different lens But at the end of it I just really miss my friend Still I can feel a peace within It meets me like a carnivore Somehow I’m in the storm and also in the calm before Lost in your embrace I don’t even know the way But I can feel my *tears against the *cloth *upon your shoulder blade
9.
10.
Frightened I’m like my mum No control of my highs and slumps …I wonder if I’ve felt the worst I wanna hold the hands that held me first I wanna hide sometimes Kazadum it and climb the mines Face to face with the kindest eyes all this grace I was Blinded by There’s so many side effects of hiding it I find in the silencing I really can’t hear at all Cracks in the wall widening But that’s how the light gets in Chorus I know that’s it’s raining outside yeah But there’s sunshine in my soul I don’t know if it’s time yet But if it’s time I should let go When I feel like I’ve got less to give than prove I hear a voice of love inside my chest There’s only one, there’s only one of you
11.
12.
Tortoise Two 01:53
Lets go for a walk love Tell you all these things that I thought up singing out your name like a chorus You breathed life into my sawdust I don’t know It’s more just Why would I be touring If you’re not on the tour bus We should spin a globe And just go …where he calls us Ordinary paupers Backpacks Borders Wander like your tortoise Take me to a Higher place You Set fire to my Fire place And Give me all the things that I was Tryna chase I got all this time I’m not tryna waste If someone had told me back at 21 I’d met you now I wouldn’t bothered anyone You’re not like anyone that i’ve ever met along The way you glide around this life is like twenty swans You’re Way More than I could Dream up Me and you should Team up Know you love your Free stuff Fleabag reruns Jesus Me and him been talking bout you If we told you how we feel …you wouldn’t believe us It might be hopeless now But I Wrote this down Just to Show you how That I’m so in love Since you showed up wow I’ve been grinning all day I’ve been floating round
13.
I came here with nothing Left with even less Still humming something Tail between my legs I’m inconsistent And smaller than average But ill go the distance Crawl on the canvas Dying of thirsty Be-sides a stream I fall off the bedside When I try to dream And I get this feeling That this time its over Fans on the ceiling Blowing me sober Mmm I yearn for a home where I haven’t been yet I don’t mean a front door I don’t mean a three bed My middle names are Failing and falling Riding the waves but My sailings appailing Mmm My best friend died this year And it really fucked me with Covered in black tar Everything stuck to me The slither of something Keeps me from jumping Is that the last thing I wrote back Was that I love him Hope Sweet Hope Come to me Hope Sweet Hope I could use some Hope Sweet Hope Im hanging on Hope Sweet Hope I had a dream that you were alive and We were arriving Upon an island I think I’ve outgrown The plant pot that grew me It turns out that freedom Came with what over threw me And Im still awaiting All of the best things Wrapped up inside me Like my intestines There is a window Behind every curtain Light pouring in slow The morning is certain Mmm There is song for All that is unsung Where all that is evil Will surely be undone There is place where The gates always open Gold on the pavement Restored what was broken That’s where I’m going That’s where you find me Next to my best friend With my wife beside me I don’t have answers But I have a feeling That all of your pain will One day reveal them Mmm

credits

released April 4, 2023

Tommy Williams - Mixing
Kevin Tuffy - Mastering
Sam Brown - Strings
Alex Ferguson - Engineering
Thando Zulu - Management
The Bakery Records

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Joel Baker London, UK

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